Captain Crunch

Last night my friend brought up a good point to me. Why hasn't Captain Crunch been promoted? Captain Crunch has held his position of Captain since 193. He's been there through Vietnam and both Iraq conflicts. He is a seasoned veteran and at this point should have been promoted to general, corporal, admiral, etc. Many theorize the reasons for this man's stagnation. Some accuse the military of screwing over the Captain. Others are suspicious that the Captain is not the most ethical commander and that having him moved up to a higher position would put him under more public scrutiny. But the bottom line though is Captain Crunch is a quaker. Quakers are not held in favor in the upper ranks of the military. And now with General Mills in control, the quakers have a harder time rising up the ranks in the military. It is so sad that just an affiliation with Quaker keeps the Captain from rising in the ranks, but until General Mills is replaced, men like Captain Crunch will not find promotions and will be stuck forever in their positions.